2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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