Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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