My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
