FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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