THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
