Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
