Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
