i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
