There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
