Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
