oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
