Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
