i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
