i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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