i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
