So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
