I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
