i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
