Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
