she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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