yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
