So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
