Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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