I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
