1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
