I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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