i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
