To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
