I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
