Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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