We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
