I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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