i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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