these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
