Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize