I'm pants shitting drunk right now
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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