This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
