And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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