that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
