Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
