I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
