yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
