You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
