I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
