then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
