What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
