Heybabeimwearingurpanties
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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