first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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