im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Your dad touched me again.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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