i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
then he tried to convert me to islam
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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