Got a toothbrush?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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