is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
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