I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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